Sunday, July 20, 2014

Things I've Learned Since Becoming An Author

(And tongue-in-cheek bits about myself too)

 
This time around, I thought I'd share a few simple truths I've come to appreciate about being an author. Some of them, you'll be able to relate to instantly. Others? Well, they're just personal to me.
 
1. Find out what kind of schedule fits your temperament - and then stick to it.
I often see other authors talking about mammoth writing sessions they've enjoyed. You know, the ones where they've drained reservoir quantities of coffee from the national reserves and gone on to create a masterpiece. I've only ever tried that once, and didn't like it. But if that works for you, by all means do it. The important thing, is to find your thing...then stick to it. Regularity is the key.
 
 
2. I get twitchy if I don't keep to schedule.
 
Are you like that? Because of my lifestyle, I have to work to schedule. If something interrupts my creative time, I get all emotional. It consumes me. And while I don't go all "Bruce Banner" on people, I do get a bit...testy.
So, if you get disturbed - do what I do - make notes, jot down ideas, and gnash your teeth until you can get back to it!






3. Take Regular Breaks.
Me? I actually do something physical in between sessions. Jog, swim, exercise, a spot of housework. Whatever it is, it allows me to run things through in my head, so I stay eager to write.
 
 
4. Get used to indifference.
The glamor of securing that first contract soon wears off. When acquaintances see your not jetting off all over the world on incredibly important business trips, the novelty of your success drains away like water down a plughole. So don't go on about it. Let your work, family, friends, do the speaking for you, and you'll find the buzz about what you do never ceases to stop circulating.

 
 
5. Vodka fuels my imagination
It really does? Strange that, eh?.
However, I have to strike a balance. Too much vodka only ever fuels frequent trips to the bathroom and a tendency to sleep.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
6. Be honest with your publisher.
And work closely with your editor. You really will reap the benefits in the long-run. I've found it creates a much more productive and flexible working environment. Everyone is willing to help each other, and feel free to express ideas and opinions. (Remember, its your work that benefits).

 
7. I'm a hammer - not a tip-tapper.
How long does your keyboard last? I get through mine every 4 or 5 months. In fact, I beat my keyboards so hard, you can hear them screaming our safe-words as I'm writing my stories.
...Yeah, say my name!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
8. Don't forget advertising and promotions.
This is an area I really need to concentrate on. If - like me - you write with smaller, independent publishers, make sure you devote some of your time to raising the profile of your work. You already know how I feel about my schedule. If I'm not typing away, I feel like I'm being lazy. But, what's the point of doing all that work if people aren't aware your fantastic tales of the imagination are actually available to read? So, don't become too focused on spending your 'author time' writing. Make space for advertising and promotions too. You won't regret it.
 
 
9. It's Official. Manufactures DO incorporate Catnip in keyboards.
This is a phenomenon every author with cats will experience. You clear your head. You grab your tankard of coffee - or in my case, vodka. You flex those fingers...(The keyboard whimpers)...and as you take your seat, poof! Tiddles appears from nowhere to assist you in creating your masterpiece.
A cunning conspiracy? Are there, in fact, millions of authors out there plagiarizing the work of their fluffy, furry-purry friends? No. Quite simply, manufacturers have devised a cunning way to incorporate the essence of Catnip into the resin on your keyboard...just to annoy authors.
 
 
10. I can eat a whole cheesecake in one sitting.
What has that got to do with writing? Absolutely nothing, but I just thought I'd throw it in there as its my secret superhero ability, and I wanted you to know in case you're ever left with any delicious, sweet, moist and crumbly offerings you can't handle.
So now you know.
 
That's it for now - next time, I'll be posting a video of what happens when I say the word's, "No! Definitely not...I forbid it." To my wife.
***Warning - Will definitely contain scenes of extreme violence***


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